Sunday, 27 June 2010


The World Egg Throwing Federation
World Egg Throwing Championships.
27th June 2010

Despite an expected low turnout due to another less prestigious event (and subsequently less successful) there was standing room only around the WETF temp HQ by a demonstration Shelterbox tent at Swaton today.

It estimated that 1000’s attended and over 300 contestants took part in total in the Egg throwing disciplines being practiced.

Throw and catch. 2 person event.
A requirement for one of the two time winners to attend due to work meant that the game was wide open. High hopes of an exciting game caused by the attendance of a pair Australians were soon dashed when they fell at the first line. Similar tragedy struck many other who sought to blame the high temperatures (27 degrees C) on the failure to catch. The final was to be decided after a heat throw only reaching 20 metres.
The failure of the heats to reach exciting distances was made even more interesting when a pair of 12 year old Darragh Hardy and Damian Wellington in the under 13s event managed 25 metres. They were immediate posted into the adult final to add some decent competition to lack lustre performance of the “big people”.
They repeated them throwing and beat off the opposition again with a catch at 25 metres. Well done boys. Adults………… you must try harder. We were expecting at least 60 metres.

Target Throwing.
Over 50 persons attempted to strike the target dressed as a German Officer. Standing 24 feet away, points were as follows face, nil. Arms and legs 1. Body 2. Groin 3. Using well aimed shot this was won by a double shot to the unprotected area causing massive pain. Our winner is Michael Benltly.

Egg static relay. A pair of scratch team managed a dead heat with 7 eggs surviving the 100 metre toss. A repeat of the race drew an eventual winner but only 4 eggs surviving in 28 seconds.

Egg Trebuchet. 9 teams entered. Dutch team failed to make more than 5 metres despite the effort of 5 scientists. At 50 metres the numbers were reduced to include only the 3 best efforts. Surprisingly the favourites “Proper Job” and Team Emu failed to qualify. Those successful making through were Team Grantham with a trebuchet made mostly from scrap timber and a pallet, Team Swaton using a trebuchet of doubtful origin and the Latvian Welders. The Latvians did not do well in the early rounds but managed to pull it back to scrape through. At 60 metres the high lobs defeated the lesser catchers and the Latvian won with 1 catch, 1 touch to gain 4 points.

Russian Egg Roulette. Early games passed without to much incident with the favourites going through by use of their skill in determining raw from cooked eggs. Early fallers were not unexpected, however creeping up through the heats, almost unnoticed came Tom Paddon of Sleaford (12 yrs), gaining massive support in the final. It went to the final egg. Up against previous 2008 winner Opal Upton Brooker of Grantham it was a game that everyone knew she would win. Tom clearly though knew his eggs and managed to detect the faint odour of raw egg in orders to avoid the unlucky strike. We welcome Tom to our hall of fame.

During the day the WETF and Swaton Vintage Day were entertained by various top class musicians including Arryn Neytiri and the most excellent Sleaford Ukulele Orchestra. We hope to report that we will have several 1000’s of pounds were raised for causes such as Shelterbox, Leukaemia Research, LIVES, Air Ambulance and The Red Cross.

World Egg Throwing Federation

Friday, 11 June 2010

Egg Games Time Table

The 5th World Egg Throwing Championships 2010

Gates open at 10:30

Held, unless stated otherwise, in the side ring or Egg headquarters. Finals in main ring.

World Target Throwing with Accuracy Challenge takes place in the area adjacent to the bar whilst the target, Joel Hicks, is available. This is the only pay to enter game and is priced at £2 for 3 eggs. Points as follows:
Head shot = Nil points
Arms/legs = 1 point
Body = 2 points
Groin = 3 points

1100 Registration
Space is limited for some events, please make sure you pre-book.

1200 The World Egg Trebuchet challenge.
Gravity powered eggcitement. Starting close but getting further. 3 preliminary close quarter rounds to find the best, then long distance knock out.

1300 The World Russian Egg Roulette championship
One against one, 6 eggs but only 1 is raw. A trial of nerves. Preliminary heats.
Held in front of Egg HQ and carries on through the afternoon.

1430 The World Egg Throwing Championship (heats).
2 person teams consisting of catchers and tossers. 10 metres apart and spreading after each successful catch. Drop the egg or break it and your out! Top 5 go through to the finals.

1500 The Egg Throwing Static Relay.
11 person team spread 10 metre intervals. 12 eggs to be passed individually along the line. Quickest wins with penalty time points for breakages.

1515 The (under 12) World Egg Throwing Championship.
As before but for smaller people.

1600 Finals of the World Egg Throwing and Russian Egg Roulette.
Main arena.

This is followed immediately by the award of trophies and press interviews.

Entry to the Swaton Vintage Day is as follows:
Adults £4
Children of school age £2
Under school age free.
Concessions £3
Family ticket (2 plus 2 paying children) £10

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Rick Rolled

The WETF got a call from "This Morning", the ITV programme asking if the Federation could help with a programme on Tuesday coming.
"Of course but what are you intending to cover" was the response.

After a long series of discussions all was agreed and the CEO set about getting it organised. First she had to contact trainers and players, get gear together and sort out travel. All was going well until she realised she wouldn't make it and would need to trust it to "Odd Job" to represent the World Egg Throwing Federation on the day. Her heart sank.

He is summoned and the task explained "You have to go to London, on a train, cars are organised by the TV people, look after a few people, nothing taxing, nothing complicated, just be there."
"O.K," he says "Who's going to be on as well"

Oh! thinks the CEO, who hadn't asked that but remembers seeing something on the Internet earlier, "I think its some singers (trying to remember their names)... Pixie Lott ... and ... Christina Aguilera"
Odd Job, starts fidgeting, puffs up his chest, says very firmly "I think I can cope with this, leave it to me"

The CEO is pleased to see Odd Job takes his tasks seriously but is somewhat surprised when he disappears off and comes back minus the weeks growth of stubble and then declares he's off for a hair cut.

Later, after returning newly shorn, Odd Job goes off to do his Emails and returns looking somewhat crestfallen.

"Whats the matter Odd Job?"
"There is, what is it?"
"Well, you know you said Pixie and Christina were on the show"
"Yes, what of it?"
"On Tuesday, they are on "Good Morning TV", not "This Morning". I wont see them."
"Oh sorry. Is that important?"
"Er, no, of course not."
"Who is on?"
"Rick Astley"
"Oh!" says CEO (trying desperately to think of a reason why she must now go)

Despite everything, Odd Job soon forgets his disappointment and starts wandering around doing what he does.

Unfortunately, today his tuneless whistling consists of only the first two lines of a chorus, as that is all he knows, repeated over and over and over again
"never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down".

The CEO has been Rick Rolled........