Tuesday, 4 May 2010

The French cause trouble again

All is quiet, the wood was patrolled at first light by the two dogs and Odd Job. Nothing was found.

Mo is dealing with his recent loss well, doing his best to keep his remaining girlfriend and wives spirits up in in own inimitable fashion. He knows that they will soon forget the others, as its hard to remember a lot when your brains slightly smaller than your eye.

However, some chickens don't forget. Over the back wall, Gaston the French cockerel has been plotting. You may recall the jealous Gaston. Whilst he's much larger, he only has three paramours and he's not as good looking nor as brave as Mo. He still stands on his coop roof hurling insults at Mo and Mo crows back, keeping a close watch on the frustrated frenchie.

At the moment, of course, Mo is keeping clear of the wood that separates the two harems so Gaston is able enter unseen. Gaston sees his chance to sneak over when Madge leaves a bucket upside down too close to the wall.

Gaston appears by Mo's coop, on the edge of the wood, and starts to entice the Beryls with smooth Gaelic charm. This is quiet difficult for him though as his short legs, under his massive body, make him waddle as he parades up and down, crooning his tale of love.

Mo is extremely annoyed but aware of the danger of the wood, so he calls for Odd Job.

As he appears the Beryls, TC and Mo all congregate around the fence line in anticipation of the bucket of wild bird food that is usually proffered. Gaston slinks back into the wood. He doesn't like Odd Job as Odd Job chases him and ruffles what little dignity he has.

Odd Job doesn't like Gaston as Gaston is big, has sharp claws and a nasty beak. The last time he had to "assist" Gaston over the wall Odd Job suffered several deep scratches as the lothario fought to break free. But he has a cunning plan for the next "assist".

He spots the cockerel slinking and fetches his "Gaston shifter". This is a large keep net, normally used for fishing but in this case for Gastoning. The chase is on.

Now, despite his short legs Gaston can put on a fair turn of speed when pursued by a human bearing a large net. He legs it to the wall, jumps, falls back, hangs a left and is off down the wall side towards the CEO's greenhouse. Odd Job blusters through the wood, getting tangled, freeing himself and is after Gaston down the side of the structure. He knows he got him now, its a dead end, about 12 feet wide and 20 deep.

As Gaston breaks in the enclosure he's running hell for leather and looking over his shoulder. Odd Job is right behind him, net stretched out to ensnare........ a flash of red to his right catches his eye and he glances right to see a small vixen staring back at him at the bottom of the wall.

The fox heads off, at speed, watching Odd Job over its shoulder. It collides with the end fence, does a left and piles into the wire compound fence, just ahead of Gaston who is running directly at the fox but still watching Odd Job over his shoulder. The fox turns and retreats back the way he came. Odd Job considers the options. Net Gaston, net fox, net Gaston, net fox, FOX! He make a wild swing and misses it by a fraction of a brush.

This was a fortunate miss as Odd Job had really only half done the working out on the consequences of such a move. What on earth would he have done with a live, scared, angry vixen in a fishing net? More to the point what would a live, angry and scared fox have done to the fishing net and the person holding the other end of it?

Gaston is snared, turned upside down and deposited with little ceremony back over the wall. The fox is nowhere to be seen. Lets hope the sight of a large human hunting foxes with a Gaston net is enough to put her off visiting again.

1 comment:

  1. Cor, I am suprised Gaston didn't pop over the wall into the open jaws of an extremely grateful vixen.