Tuesday, 6 April 2010


Those of you that follow me on Twitter will know that I have views on most things and I now think its time for change........... Fire up the Quarttro, Mo is standing for election.

But before I could ask you to vote for me via http://www.eggthrowing.com/ I should tell you a bit about myself.

Over to the election team at the World Egg Throwing Federation:

Who is Mo?
Mo is a white miniature silky cockerel. He was hatched on the 27th February 2005 in Sheffield. He moved south shortly afterwards and now resides in 2 story coop in Swaton at WETF headquarters.

What’s his job?
He looks after his girls. But when not doing that he also enjoys patrolling the orchard, pond edge and the adjoining fir tree copse.

Girls! How many?
Today he has a harem of 11 brown hen wifelets, who are for convenience, are all called Beryl. Plus three Hamburg banty, and very game, girlfriends called TC, Choo Choo and Goldie.

The coop must be crowded?
Not really, it’s a 12 beds affair and the three girlfriends live in the wood, 12 feet up a tree. They say Mo snores, he denies this.

Any ambitions?
Mo seeks only to serve and protect. This is almost a full time job as he has many enemies.

He has enemies!
The Foxes. They have visited previously and are a pair of blood thirsty coves that attempt to hurt him and his girls. Sadly, there have in the past been casualties despite Mo’s brave defence undertaken at some great personal risk.
The Hawks. A visit by them has previously led to the loss of Eeny Meeny and Miny. These were Mo’s sisters. It was sudden and there was nothing Mo could have done to prevent the dastardly deed. Mo keeps a close eye out for hawks but is often distracted.
Big Gaston. He lives next door and is a large French fellow. He is eight times Mo's size, has only three wives and very very jealous. He occasionally comes over to visit but is seen off by Mo. Big Gaston, whilst good at posturing, is a bit of a coward.

Tell me more about Mo’s wifelets and girlfriends.
I’m glad you asked me that. The Beryls are all rescue hens that reached the end of their professional egg laying life when just over 1 year old. They understand, and we don’t tell them otherwise, that this normally means that they go of to retire to a Welsh town called Abattoir where they would spend time making soup and nuggets. However, in their case they have come to Swaton instead and live out the rest of their lives sunning their legs to a deep yellow, patrolling the orchard, wood and pond area looking for things. New Beryls arrive periodically to keep them company, as space permits.

TC (otherwise known as Tree Creeper or Top Chicken) is the oldest girl. She is the (incubation) mother of Choo Choo. They are very close. Goldie (who is Choo Choo’s egg mother but doesn’t know it) came to live with Mo after the Foxes visited her coop and killed everyone there except her. THis is a plot worthy of East Enders.

The ladies together produce between 4 and 11 eggs a day, depending on the time of year. These are used at WETF headquarters. Any that are left over are given to neighbours or, if not used up, put aside for use in the World Egg Throwing Championships.

1 comment:

  1. Fascinated by this Welsh town called Abattoir. Can't find it on the map ? I'd like to go.

    Porkie Piglet IIIV

    N.B. Quattro hasn't got an R in it (like August).